V/H/S Franchise Top 20 Best Segments
The V/H/S franchise has earned the status of a powerhouse in horror, not only in regard to Found Footage. Going strong (V/H/S Beyond was released a couple of days ago on Shudder) and with no intention of stopping soon (V/H/S 8 is in the making and will be out at some point during next year) the series offer some of the most innovative, scary and genuinely disturbing sequences in horror due to the amount of segments within each entry. But, taking into account the considerable number of segments presented throughout five entries (thirty seven to be exact), which are the most prominent, creative and frightening ones?
Look no further for my take on all the body of work and horrors that the V/H/S franchise has bestowed to us.
20. Stork (V/H/S Beyond)
The feeling I have after watching V/H/S Beyond is that it had the ideas to belong to the elite of the franchise (V/H/S, V/H/S 2, V/H/S 94 and V/H/S 85) but the execution was more in line with the low part (V/H/S Viral and V/H/S 99).
Nonetheless, it does start strong and hard. Stork possesses all the qualities that have made this series what it is now; it is intense, it is goofy, it gets scary and it has a creature that, though cartoonish, promises to be a standout.
19. The Gawkers (V/H/S 99)
The only reason this Amateur Night rip off makes this top is because we behold(?) a gorgon. I give it to the writers and director to dare to add something so out of context in a franchise whose main characteristic is to be out of context.
The Gawkers fakes to be the pivotal segment of V/H/S 99 just to turn out to be a fun mess upon and about a bunch of creeps; you know, the usual around here.
18. Phase I Clinical Trials (V/H/S 2)
Out of all the ideas used to justify the use and placement of the camera through which we will witness everything the one in Phase I Clinical Trials must be the most original; the term POV has never been more accurate and literal than in here.
Now, regarding the quality of the segment putting aside its original presentation, I have to say that, though entertaining and a little scary at times, sort of falls short. That is not because of a lack of quality, but compared to the epic and humongous sections it shares room with (basically all the other segments in V/H/S 2) it may feel dwarfed.
17. Second Honeymoon (V/H/S)
Before Ti West was part of the three greatest mainstream modern horror filmmakers (yes, after the release of MaxXXine he has reached and earned that spot) he directed very fine horror material; The House Of The Devil, The Innkeepers and this short are prime examples.
Do not expect any eccentricities because, believe it or not, this is the only segment in all the entirety of the V/H/S multiverse (perhaps Fur Babies may be added) that does not feature any monsters, aliens, undead people, demons or any paranormal beings making it the most fleshed (pun intended) and human segment in the series.
16. Total Copy (All Parts) (V/H/S 85)
One of the countless things that V/H/S 85 did oustandingly well was retaking the pivotal segment; I do not consider The Gawkers as the one in V/H/S 99 because, although technically it was, it did not function as one and finished before the last segment.
This is not the starting and sprawling point that Tape 56 (V/H/S) and Tape 49 (V/H/S 2) were but accomplishes the run time (being the starting point, being played amidst the other segments and being the last short played). Furthermore, it keeps up with the rest in order to make 85 the most regular and even of all the entries.
15. Dreamkill (V/H/S 85)
Dreamkill is not the best segment in V/H/S 85 (No Wake/Ambrosia); it is not the most fun (God Of Death and Total Copy) and it is not the weakest (TKNOGD); it is there, giving backbone and suplying solidity but is not the immediate standout.
In spite of all this, there are two reasons that justify its presence in the top 15: its connection with Scott Derrickson's The Black Phone (Scott is the same director here); and the fact that a horror movie can never go wrong playing Throbbing Gristle's Hamburger Lady.
14. Live And Let Dive (V/H/S Beyond)
It was a rather pleasant surprise to witness how great Live And Let Dive unfolded; since the teaser trailer the scenes that ended up featured in it were the ones that stuck with me the most.
Just as Slumber Party Alien Abduction in V/H/S 2 it was a turn of the screw to the worn out alien formula. It is one of the few shorts in the franchise whose pace does not diminish in the slightest since it starts. Had it featured better CGI effects it would have made the top 10 easily. Nonetheless, this flaw has its charm.
13. God Of Death (V/H/S 85)
I have stumbled upon commentary from people deeming God Of Death as "mid" or "good and fun but little more than that". I astoundingly differ with those statements and I embrace it as my second favorite V/H/S 85 segment and one of my favorites overall.
But let us be clear here; I am Mexican. It does not mean that if your nationality is distinct you will not enjoy it, but clearly it hits "different" being Mexican and knowing the background. This short and Bonestorm prove that bringing up Mexican culture to the V/H/S formula can yield great results
12. Bonestorm (V/H/S Viral)
It is no secret that Viral is the lowest point in the whole series; no entry has ever gotten this close to being the downfall of a beloved franchise. Nevertheless, it does feature a segment that has all the necessary elements to ensure a spot in this list.
Brainstorm is the only rewatchable aspect in all of Viral (some claim Prallel Monsters is as well, but it does not do the trick for me). Not scary whatsoever, but highly entertaining and thrilling, this segment offers the only recognizable part of the V/H/S' DNA in an otherwise rather unrecognizable movie.
11. Tape 49 (All Parts) (V/H/S 2)
People tend to forget that there used to be a tape which was deemed as a pivotal part in the movie's development (mainly because of its subtle usage in V/H/S 94, its total absence in V/H/S 99 or its unrelated nature in V/H/S 85 and V/H/S Beyond). I mean, even Viral grasps the concept.
Yet, both introductory tapes corresponding to the first two installments are some of the best this universe has to offer. Tape 49 is the second scariest tape in V/H/S 2 (we are about to the reach the first one) and, in spite of that, it still is criminally overlooked and underrated. This tape is the backbone that guaranteed the spot of best movie in the saga for the second entry.
10. The Subject (V/H/S 94)
I have to admit that at first I did not embrace this segment properly; I felt aversion to it not for its explicit, cruel and nightmarish nature (which is what the majority expects from the franchise) but for its self-indulgent attempt to reach astronomical levels.
I had the opportunity to revisit it a couple of years later and since thenit has grown on me. I still think there are a couple of details that could be considered extra but it definitely is what we crave for in this series.
9. Storm Drain (V/H/S 94)
The universe features recognizable and iconic segments galore, but not many well-known creatures (Siren from Amateur Night, The Glitch from Tuesday the 17th, The Stork in Stork before long and... stop counting).
Nonetheless, the fourth installment succeeds in creating monsters that are now iconic and can be recognized (to the extent that getting an own movie is not far-fetched at all). For instance the Vampire in Terror and the all-mighty-acid-spitting Raatma. Storm Drain is the perfect way to start the series' reboot and its monster ranks high up for best and scariest creature design. Hail Raatma.
8. Slumber Party Alien Abduction (V/H/S 2)
Aliens are no strangers in the Found Footage format (not even in movies). And despite being addressed poorly in countless occasions (Area 51, The Rejected, etc.), some potrayals exceed expectations and offer a very thrilling and scary experience (The McPherson Tape/Alien Abduction the ones found in V/H/S Beyond and this segment right here).
Slumber Party Alien Abduction is the perfect way to end an untouchable second entry on a very high note. Thrilling, intense and scary in equal measure. Oh, and if you love doggos, abstain yourself from checking it out.
7. The Empty Wake (V/H/S 94)
Following the huge dissapointment that was V/H/S: Viral, the franchise went through a much needed hiatus. We went from having a movie each year to being sure that the series was put down. Out of the blue, V/H/S 94 was announced (along with 99) and, with it, the excitement to finally behold a satisfactory comeback.
The Empty Wake may seem aloof for the franchise's standard (mainly because of its simplicity), but in that regard lies its biggest strenght. Seldom is the time the series packed a nice punch without the over the top and avant-garde horror ecentricities ir often recurrs to. Without a doubt, the scariest one in 94.
6. To Hell And Back (V/H/S 99)
Much like the occurrences between V/H/S 2 and V/H/S: Viral and the noticeable downgrade in quality, the relapsing took place now in the transition of V/H/S 94 and V/H/S 99. Clearly not quite the same (because 94 is not as good as 2 and 99 is not as bad as Viral). It was a shame that the latter could not live up to the hype triggered by the series' return to form.
However, To Hell And Back may be the most daring segment since Safe Haven (coming up in a few spots) alongside The Subject (V/H/S 94) until the arrival of NoWake/Ambrosia (V/H/S 85). There are just a handul of depictions of hell as nightmarish and hella fun (pun intended) as the one in here. I wish 99 had been just this and the Amateur Night's DLC (The Gawkers).
5. A Ride In The Park (V/H/S 2)
The second entry is the best one in the franchise (and by a wide and convincing margin). Notwithstanding the quality of all the segments in the movie, A Ride In The Park manages to stand out as a highlight for the whole series.
Despite not breaking new ground (the zombie approach has been endlessly addressed and exploited) it manages to be imaginative, funny, scary, vertiginous and very gory (even for the series' caliber). This segment might be the best exemplification of the franchise's nature and the most fun to watch along with 10/31/98 and To Hell And Back.
4. No Wake/Ambrosia (V/H/S 85)
Actually there are two segments conjoined here but the cheat code was in order due to a fair share of reasons; the segments are chronologically related and neither of them would make it into the top 20 without the other.
Both shorts altogether constitute the most powerful punch in the series (or at the level of the madness of Safe Haven) and out of all the plot twists in the series the one lying within Ambrosia is, perhaps, the most astounding in all of V/H/S. In addition to that, it manages to stand out in a movie that is renowned for its regularity and even quality (no small feats indeed).
3. Amateur Night (V/H/S)
The most famous segment in the franchise's history and a synonym of the brand, Amateur Night has everything any horror fan is longing for. Every single thing, from the introduction of the "antagonist" (who I would label as the protagonist, to be honest) to the very last moments, constitute, perhaps, the most well-crafted experience in the series ("perhaps" just because Safe Haven exists).
This segment also provides the most recognizable monster in all of the V/H/S universe; so famous that it even spanned a spin-off, Siren, (which is not as good as this short in spite of being a full-length movie). Taking into account not pivotal segments this is the very first one we get. Talk about starting on a high note.
2. 10/31/98 (V/H/S)
A very discrete number of Found Footage films depict likeable characters who you really get to care for; it seems like normative and intrinsic aspects to create disposable characters whose only function is to be slaughtered and terminated for entertainment purposes (yes, it's horror and the genre requires it but you get the point).
Despite being just a segment, 10/31/98 accomplishes what most full-length movies in the format seem incapable of achieving. Whether it is the innocence of the protagonists, or the fact that they do not deserve to be finished off that way, the main characters do a great job in making the viewer cheer for them to make it out alive and, of course, in providing amusement.
1. Safe Haven (V/H/S 2)
It is no by chance that Safe Haven is, by itself, better than the worst movies in the series (V/H/S: Viral and V/H/S 99) put together and the vast majority of Found Footage films. Just a handful of Found Footage movies feature in their full run time what we get to experience in Safe Haven in approximately half an hour.
The segment offers no shortage of scares and action, in addition to a very daunting and compelling atmosphere that permeates the sequence. There are a couple of experiences in movies that I would like to reexperience without knowing how they will wind up; Safe Haven tops that list.
Honorable Mentions:
-Fur Babies (V/H/S Beyond)
-Terror (V/H/S 94)
-Tuesday The 17th (V/H/S)
-Ozzy's Dungeon (V/H/S 99)
-TKNOGD (V/H/S 85)
-Tape 56 (V/H/S)
