V/H/S Movies Ranked: From Worst To Best
October, 2024, after more than a decade, seven entries, thirty seven segments and countless ups and downs, the V/H/S franchise has cleared any doubts and now possesses a rock solid spot as the crowning achievement for the Found Footage panorama.
But, how do their entries rank considering the whole bunch of craziness we have behold since 2012? Let us dive into it.
7. V/H/S Viral (2014)
Give It Credit For: Being so bad that it almost killed off the franchise
Strongest Segment: Bonestorm
Weakest Segment: All the segments other than Bonestorm
The V/H/S franchise has transcended Found Footage territory (in which it is with no diggity the best saga to date) and has cemented its place as one of the most preminent franchises in horror. Another department that is topped by it is the unpredictability. V/H/S is the most uneven franchise ever (I would even dare say in all of cinema) that has certain recognition.
Look no further than the transition from V/H/S 2 to V/H/S: Viral to make sure of it. The first one is the apex of Found Footage grandiosity while the latter is one of the most shameful horror experiences put into film (even for the subgenre standards). There is no need to worry, a movie as bad as this one could not be made even if it was attempted. It is a miracle that this one was put together.
Segments:
-Vicious Circles/frame narrative (all parts)
-Dante The Great
-Parallel Monsters
-Bonestorm
-Gorgeous Vortex
6. V/H/S 99 (2022)
Give It Credit For: Being the funniest one
Strongest Segment: To Hell And Back
Weakest Segment: Suicide Bid
The V/H/S franchise is known for its total lack of precaution and its hit-or-miss formula. This approach has proved to be the distinctive mark of the brand. When it hits, the whole horror genre shakes from within. When it misses, we get things like V/H/S 99.
V/H/S will never release a movie as awful as Viral, but here they did try and almost accomplished it. Not overlooked can be the fact that, despite the lack of quality overally speaking, a handful of good and interesting ideas was thrown here and there. The execution was rather poor, though; this rendered the ultimate product to feel like a self-indulgent parody more than a proper entry.
Segments:
-Shredding
-Suicide Bid
-Ozzy's Dungeon
-The Gawkers
-To Hell And Back
5. V/H/S Beyond (2024)
Give It Credit For: Being the conceptual one
Strongest Segment: Live And Let Dive
Weakest Segment: Stowaway
V/H/S Beyond is a hybrid that hobnobs with the best of two worlds in the V/H/S universe; it gives V/H/S, 2, 94 and 85 a run fot their money in terms of creativity and originality. Nonetheless, most of the time the execution of those ideas does not live up to the premises.
I mean, I would say that it even holds back some segments from absolute madness and grandiosity (Live And Let Dive is the perfect example for this statement). I do believe it inhabits in a limbo of quality and can be used as a yardstick or starting point for newcomers or neophytes.
Segments:
-Abduction/Adduction (all parts)
-Stork
-Dream Girl
-Live And Let Dive
-Fur Babies
-Stowaway
4. V/H/S 94 (2021)
Give It Credit For: Being the comeback the franchise needed
Strongest Segment: The Empty Wake
Weakest Segment: Terror
For seven years a much needed and welcomed hiatus was taken in order to rearrange the foundations of the franchise and bask into the old glory that was once earned and, by this time, was getting lost; the wait proved to be worth it. V/H/S 94 reinvigorated a then decaying franchise and managed to get it back on its feet after the almost fatal blow that was Viral.
If it weren't for the marvelous 85, 94 would be, without a shade of doubt, the most even and regular entry. And its consistency is not the only aspect that can be pointed out; 94 provided some of the most iconic and recognizable creatures in the franchise; the vampire in Terror, the remote zombie in The Empty Wake, the robotic abominations in The Subject or the new franchise mascot, the almighty Raatma in Storm Drain,
Segments:
-Holy Hell (all parts)
-Storm Drain
-The Empty Wake
-The Subject
-Terror
3. V/H/S (2012)
Give It Credit For: Being the one that started it all
Strongest Segment: 10/31/98
Weakest Segment: The Sick Thing That Happened To Emily When She Was Younger
The first entry must be given credit for not only having started it all but also for having the strongest opening and closure regarding the body segments (not pivotal ones). Amateur Night is the most recognizable segment in the entirety of the franchise and 10/31/98 is the most fun and engaging; no need to add that it is my personal favorite as well.
With the strongest and most virtuoso filmmaking lineup in a V/H/S movie with the likes of Ti West, Adam Wingard or David Bruckner supplying and directing the pieces and pulling the strings, the first installment is more than just the blueprint; it is one of the highest peaks the series has reached.
Segments:
-Tape 56/frame narrative (all parts)
-Amateur Night
-Second Honeymoon
-Tuesday the 17th
-The Sick Thing That Happened To Emily When She Was Younger
-10/31/98
2. V/H/S 85 (2023)
Give It Credit For: Being the most consistent one
Strongest Segment: No Wake/Ambrosia
Weakest Segment: TKNOGD
Paradoxically, the saga has mantained an even unevenness since its second installment; V/H/S 2 was great, Viral was hideous, 94 was really good, 99 was horrendous and, following the pattern, one could expect 85 to be at least a decent movie. Hopes and expectations were fully fullfilled when the movie was released a couple of days ago. The quality of 94 could have been anticipated due to the amount of time off the franchise took; nonetheless, with 85 we had an unexpected quality boost not seen since the release of the second entry.
This movie does not reach the heights of the first spot, but it certainly gives it a run for its money. Consistency-wise this movie is the pinnacle of the franchise; there is not a single weak link throughout. In addition to that and in spite of being separated and shown apart, the one-two punch of No Wake/Ambrosia hurls the compound segment as a worthy contender for the most imaginative, chaotic and thrilling segment in the whole series.
Segments:
-Total Copy (all parts)
-No Wake
-God Of Death
-TKNOGD
-Ambrosia
-Dreamkill
1. V/H/S 2 (2013)
Give It Credit For: Being the absolutely best
Strongest Segment: Safe Haven
Weakest Segment: Phase I Clinical Trials
As I have firmly judged Viral by saying there is no possibility to top its mediocrity and total absence of quality, the same can be stated for the second entry but inversely; I see extremely unlikely that this film will be surpassed in terms of quality and creativity. I do hope to be mistaken and would really like to be proven wrong sooner than later.
The thing with 2 is that it is not the funniest installment; 99 holds that honor. It is not the most consistent one; Phase I Clinical Trials is not a bad segment at all, but it pales before the humongous segments that are left making it lose that regard to V/H/S 85. What is up with the second entry then? Simple, it is the absolutely best and by a considerable margin.
Segments:
-Tape 49 (all parts)
-Phase I Clinical Trials
-A Ride In The Park
-Safe Haven
-Slumber Party Alien Aduction
Watch V/H/S Beyond for free: https://sflix.to/watch-movie/free-vhsbeyond-hd-115033.10721152
